husband | Nursing Student Chronicles

Timing is Everything.

I was out of school not even 5 days when we got the email for N-3000 requirements. It was to the tune of “Enjoy your break…but don’t forget that the first day of class is a lab so come in proper clinical/lab attire. Oh, and we need your immunization records and CPR cards. Oh, and we need verification that all your online training in modules A-Q are done by the first day of class. Oh, and tuition is due by the first day so you can go to orientation. Oh, and your new syllabus and schedules are up. OH! Enjoy your break!”

And then of course, working 3 in a row is always a picnic. I’ve got my 3rd day tomorrow which will undoubtedly mean I’ll be grumpy.

And Ishaq/I just picked/ended a stupid/superstupid argument/misunderstanding –> a further worsened mood.

Good one, world. You win this round.
Let’s be friends tomorrow? “Pretty, please?”

Dash made my night so much better. By like ten.trillion times. Best friends are…well, the best! And for that I’m grateful.

Love,
Laney

[photo cred here]

Lucky

My husband is adorable. Can I just say that? I think I will.
In fact, I am so impressed by him on this particular day that I’ve decided to write a whole post about him to stash away in the corners of my blog/journal.
We’ve had a few arguments the last couple of weeks. Not a lot. But more than normal for us.
To be honest, any argument over one in the span of a month (every now and then a week) is pretty rare for us. But we had a few. And as a result we were both in a funk. Cause we hate arguing. It messes up our whole day. It makes me introverted and I don’t particularly like being that way. Any day I can’t share wholeheartedly with my husband is a day wasted in my book.
So, he’s the type of guy that doesn’t consider the matter 100% resolved until we’ve seen each other in person and you can see the resolution on the other’s face.
And today, he called me and said, let’s take our lunch at the same time so that we can play chess. We like to play chess with each other through our iPhones. I readily agreed.
Two nurses were sitting behind me chattering away about their day nonstop. I sat with my hummus, pita bread, and phone chatting in between moves to my husband.
About 20 minutes into our game, I heard the nurses stop and one of them said “awww”. Curious, I looked up.

Standing right over me, was Ishaq.
Ishaq, who I had assumed was in the break room at his own job 15 minutes away, was reaching for my hand- pulling me away from the hummus and the pita.
He told me he could only stay for 2 or 3 minutes but he wanted to see me so that we could make up. I walked him outside with a huge grin on my face.

I adore my husband. He lit up my days and continuously lights up my life.
I’m so lucky.

Tain't Cheap.

What’s not cheap? Being an “adult”. Being in nursing school. Owning a home. Having a family. Not having a trust fund back east.
Being an adult in nursing school with a home and a family and no trust fund back east really takes the cake though. (Although medical bills, emergencies, car troubles, etc etc would make the list as well).

Tain’t cheap and I am sure feeling it.
Let me warn you now that this post is not all butterflies and sunshine. It’s one of those self-reflections and observation kind-of post where I talk myself into some sort of sense.
I digress.

The last couple of months since second semester began has been kind of rough. Ishaq and I got back early from our honeymoon hoping to save money. The wedding was great (and done for under $2000 total).
School started, surprise bills came up.
We’re still trying to pay off Ishaq’s loan from our 4-year college where we left after a semester so that he can start up at my nursing school. They won’t let him in without a transcript though. And we can’t get a transcript until the loan is paid off. We can’t get the loan paid off because the financial aid was supposed to pay it in the first place. They decided not to pay it since Ishaq’s father put false numbers on the application and they got audited and dropped. After it got dropped, through no fault of our own, we got stuck with the semester’s payment. Snowball effect, much?
Anyways, last week, Ishaq’s car got broken into and one of my old debit cards stolen along with his stereo (which didn’t have the face on it mind you, meaning they stole it and can’t use it). We had 9 dollars to get us through the rest of the week. Our bank balance went negative due to an unprocessed check from a month before. We have zero in savings thanks to the wedding and school. This happened 3 days after I decided to take a day off of work each week and switch from 36 hours to 24 hours a week in the hopes that my grades would be better in school. I drove to school with my low fuel light coming on halfway there. I tried to stop at the gas station on my way home and found out my credit card was maxed out. So I drove all the way home in the 90 degree heat while speeding and praying I would not get pulled over and that I would make it home without my car dying. Luckily, Miguel (my red car) got me home safe and sound.
Ishaq was a champ and tore our house apart finding 6 bucks in dollars and 4 in change so that we could both get to work and school the next day.
Luckily we got a paid a couple of days later.

But it’s after weeks like that, that I sit back and wonder if I’m going to make it through the next year and a half. I constantly feel this fear that I’m going to fail academically or financially. If I fail academically, I have to start the whole program over since they started a new curriculum. It wouldn’t be repeating one semester, it would be a year’s tuition down the drain. And we can’t afford to repeat. Plus, Ishaq can’t go to school until I’m done. And he’s been ever-so-patient. If I fail financially, I lose everything. CONUNDRUM.

We have a plan for success. I graduate, he goes to school, I work to put him through, he graduates, works for a year, we move to Boston and then travel nurse. That’s the tentative plan.
I just want so much. I want to be stable. I want to be successful.

And I know we’ll get there. T.O from school always says that failure is not an option.
We WILL get there.

It’s just that the process tain’t cheap.

loz-what?

My husband is great. He is also a great teaser.
I am gullible. Sometimes. Especially when he tells me stuff.

Proof of this?

The other night, I was studying for school. The topic was medications. Isaac was trying to help me study and asked me about lozenges.

“Loh-zen-gee.” he said.

I had never heard the word before so I looked at it confused on the paper. He kept saying, “yeah, what about the loh-zen-gees.”
I replied honestly that I didn’t know what loh-zen-gees were- I hadn’t read that section yet.
His response? Laughter. Gutteral laughter.

“What? What’s so funny?” I asked, pouting.
He explained how they were really pronounced “lah-zenges” and that he thought I would correct him. He also said something about the confusion on my face being funny.
I guess it was ironic since he was pretending to be confused and ended up confusing me.

Totally rude.

ZOMG, 20!

look at the cake with all them candles. his brothers ended up blowing them out

Happy birthday my love!!
He is 20 now and no longer a teenager. How old!
I was waiting to post this until I had a picture to go with it. We rang in Ishaq’s birthday at midnight on the dot. I hyped him up for it telling him that his birthday gift was going to be the best ever.
It was a video camera- something he’s been wanting forever. It’s really nice. We met in a filmmaking class, so it was kind of sentimental as well. He’s forever got ideas for movies and that is one of his greatest creative outlets. We can’t wait until it’s sunny again so the movie making can begin! His brothers are just as into cinematography as he is, so we’ll see!

We slept in and woke up around 12:30. We had lunch at an Indian food restaurant in Chapel Hill (our favorite one in the Triangle) and went to the planetarium. Unfortuanately, it was closed. They’re forced to close at 3pm now because of the budget cuts. There were two other couples trying to go at the same time we did. So that was disappointing. Well, for me, not for Ishaq. I love my optimistic husband. He was still thrilled about the camera and Indian food. And, he said he was excited just because I remembered he loved astronomy.
So we went to the movie theater (cliche, but the wind and rain had ruined all of my other plans) and decided to see Watchmen. We were an hour early, so we spent the whole time playing video games which was actually really fun. The movie was only okay. But we had a good time regardless.
Afterwards, we went and saw his family before going home and continuing on our Naruto series. That’s an anime show we watch online that is SUPER good. Mmhmm.

The verdict: He says it was his best birthday ever. Seriously. (Even if it was Friday the 13th! -_-)

An Elephant and a Flower

Things are finally looking up again healthwise. The headaches seem to be, knock on wood, getting farther and farther apart. I’m excited because I only have 10 more hours to go and then I’ll be done with my shift and my workweek. And tomorrow is lab which means I get to sleep in a little bit. AWESOME.

So, I think I mentioned that Isaac and I weren’t doing anything for Valentine’s Day this year because we were gonna celebrate our anniversary instead. I’m not gonna lie though- I’m a girly girl. Not all the time. Just about some things. And, I mean, who wouldn’t want a little something on Valentine’s Day? Granted, love should be expressed all year round, and Isaac does a damn good job at that. But still.
I went home yesterday not expecting anything though b/c of our aforementioned agreement. I was cleaning up the bedroom and he came home with a stuffed elephant and flower and a card. It wasn’t a Valentine’s Day gift, he said. Rather, it was something to show his appreciation for everything.

I love him.

We stayed up and watched Fringe and listened to music while eating a pasta dinner. And then we went to sleep. Overall, I’d say it was a good day.

Sunday Morning

I like sleeping in.
I like the way the light hangs in the room through the curtains. Nice and dim.
I like the grey-blue light of the early morning.
And looking to the left side of the bed and seeing his limbs sprawled in different directions. Some limbs tangled in mine, others strewn off the edge of the bed.
I like the way his eyes are squinted shut and he can still see me.
Or the way he takes a million showers a day even though he doesn’t need to. It must be the Pisces in him.
I like waking up in the morning with an afro because he’s played with my hair while I was asleep.
And going downstairs and seeing where he got up after I’ve fallen asleep because he wasn’t tired but still wanted to lay with me until I’ve drifted off.
He reads my thoughts and knows my looks. He knows me better than myself.
He calms my nerves and squashes my rage. He causes my rage.
I like the way his skin looks against mine and mine against his. And how they’re different colors yet we can’t tell where one’s skin ends and the others’ begins.
I like how he wakes up with disheveled hair, puts on lounge pants with one leg tucked into a sock, and a backwards shirt that’s also inside out….and he still looks fine as hell.
I like how he is a better cook than I am.
And more patient as well.
And loves me for me.
He laughs at my insecurities because, to him, I’m perfect as I am.
He’s my rock.
He doesn’t remember 98% of our graduating class from high school and that still amuses me.
I love how he can’t spell for anything but he’s really smarter than I am.
I love how he keeps me on my toes.
I love how, somewhere along the way, everything that I liked about him turned into all the things that I love about him.
I love how he thinks he’s hilarious when he’s really corny and not funny at all.
Addendum: He’s funny sometimes.
I love how he locks the door at night and reminds me to be safe because I would never think about those things if it weren’t for him.
I love how he cares about my best friends as if they were his sisters just because they’re important to me.
I love how he’s gentle and goofy but could win a fight if he needed to.
His support and enthusiasm means more to me than he knows.
I love how he asked me to make a string bracelet for him so that he’d have it with him at all times.
I love how he’s so much taller than me and I can hide in his arms when the world gets too harsh.
His eyes are the kindest I’ve known.
So is his smile.
He makes me laugh for hours and hours.
And puts up with me when I’m moody.
I love how he thinks I’m at my prettiest when I think I’m at my most busted.
I love how he gives me advice and infinite wisdom whether I’ve asked for it or not.
And that his advice is usually right. And by usually I mean 99% of the time it is.
I love how he gets away with everything. Just because it fascinates me.
I love how he’s fascinating as a person.
I love how he plays the guitar and writes stories. And makes movies with a critical eye.
I love how he lets me decide what to watch on TV even if he controls the remote.
I love how he has certain rituals for getting a good nights sleep such as lighting incense and making the room pitch black.

I love how I could go on and on. And I probably will at another point in time.
Love you. Always.

“you might be the greatest, thing I’ve ever seen….everyday is Saturday night, but I can’t wait for Sunday Morning…”

I wrestled a crackhead!

“How was your day?” I asked my husband after answering his phone call during my overnight shift at work.

“Great!”, he replied, “I wrestled a crackhead!”

I worry for him sometimes, but I have to laugh. His enthusiasm for his job cracks me up. And, well, it is what got him 3 promotions in exactly a year.

Criminal justice is his calling.