M.M: Oh, well, don’t get shot!

On determining if baby may have birth defects just after the delivery: “Well, if the baby has you know maybe droopiness or a something weird in the face, I may look at the parents. Sometimes the parents will be looking a little chromesome-y themselves!”

PS- You can also read about the origin of these nursing instructor quotes and the rest of the collection of other M-isms

On strict bedrest for preterm labor moms:  “No sexual intercourse, no nipple stimulation, no…no..no playing!”

On fetal attitude: “Oh my yes, they’ll have an attitude before they even get here”

On proper clinical conduct: “You should be in the nursery at all times. Not sitting around the nurses station talking about the bachelor last night…That’s a great show though.”

On getting the class quiet: “Really! Hush up! Y’all couldn’t not talk to save your own lives.”

On some women not liking diaphragms/cervical caps: “You gotta ask though because some women won’t like it- they get freaky about touching themselves.”

On how to use drugs: “Well, I don’t know. They sniff it or whatever it is they do with the crack.”

For the new readers, you can find out where M-isms come from here.
=]

On why you take a diaphragm out within 24 hours: “Oh the horror stories I could tell you. We had this woman come in with a horrible infection- she had her diaphragm in for a week. Oh yes, imagine the smell that followed her around!”