Posts Tagged ‘ funny ’
On determining if baby may have birth defects just after the delivery: “Well, if the baby has you know maybe droopiness or a something weird in the face, I may look at the parents. Sometimes the parents will be looking a little chromesome-y themselves!”
PS- You can also read about the origin of these nursing instructor quotes and the rest of the collection of other M-isms
On strict bedrest for preterm labor moms: “No sexual intercourse, no nipple stimulation, no…no..no playing!”
On fetal attitude: “Oh my yes, they’ll have an attitude before they even get here”
On proper clinical conduct: “You should be in the nursery at all times. Not sitting around the nurses station talking about the bachelor last night…That’s a great show though.”
On poor dosage test grades: “That’s the problem with y’all. I give you this nice good book and you don’t even use it. Shameful.”
On getting the class quiet: “Really! Hush up! Y’all couldn’t not talk to save your own lives.”
On some women not liking diaphragms/cervical caps: “You gotta ask though because some women won’t like it- they get freaky about touching themselves.”
On why you take a diaphragm out within 24 hours: “Oh the horror stories I could tell you. We had this woman come in with a horrible infection- she had her diaphragm in for a week. Oh yes, imagine the smell that followed her around!”
On African-American babies sometimes looking light-skinned when first born: “Sometimes, you gotta calm daddy down- maybe call security. They see this light baby and start thinking, I dunno, maybe mom was fooling around! But, then you show them the ears and the privates and say ‘See? They’re dark! White babies don’t look like that.’”
On patient being hypothermic: “Now let me tell you, she was as cold as dead!”
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